When words are not enough

A few days ago, on the 21st of May we had to say goodbye to our best buddy, Tom. Tom was my boyfriend’s cat, which we bought together five years ago. We were not living together at that point. After wishing for a furry best friend for so long, Tom was most probably sent to him.

That is a day I will never forget. We were outside, hanging around and saw this announcement on a local website with two beautiful kitties, in search of home. When we got to the place they were, there was only one left. A very small, quiet and funny one, whose name was soon going to be Tom and who was going to change our lives forever.

My boyfriend and Tom were best friends since day one. From the first day, my boyfriend’s first priority when being at home and not only was Tom. He adjusted quickly to living together and the safest and most memorable memory they’ve shared throughout the years was when Tom was resting on his forearm, with no care in the world, while my boyfriend was at the computer.

Soon after, about one year after becoming a small family, when my boyfriend moved out of his parents’ home, he took his best buddy with him. That’s how their journey started all over again. They spent their nights in a cosy 1-bedroom apartment, never lonely, never alone.

Not even finding about his cat allergy changed my boyfriend’s habits or attitude towards the most loved cat on Earth. Tom loved being with Alin and we always say now that those were his glory times. He got pretty huge, he became majestic as we always say he was and life never seemed to throw anything bad at them… at us. Serenity

When my boyfriend and I decided to move in together, we looked for places to rent, but a pretty popular answer was “No, we don’t accept cats” so my boyfriend decided to buy an apartment for all of us, to live happily. I believe Tom showed us the path and in a way, decided what’s best for us.

Soon after moving in together, Tom started drinking more water, eating less of his food and, in general, being less active. We then found out he had kidney stones and was in chronic kidney failure, at only age 3 (February 2019). My boyfriend sold his car to be prepared for whatever costs my appear. Tom was at the vet for about 2 weeks, but his condition was worse and worse by the day. He was not eating, he was losing weight by the day, his anaemia got so bad, to the point he needed blood transfusions and his lab values were only worse.

Tom was very attached to my boyfriend, to the point that he wouldn’t eat or play when he wasn’t around. I remember one time (before all the craziness happened) when my boyfriend had to leave him for a week to a pet hotel, while we were away and he refused to eat or play. He just sat in a depressed state in a corner of the room, with only my boyfriend’s T-shirt to keep him company.

That being said, we took Tom home and were given one more week together. But the weeks passed and we found ourselves in March, when we celebrated Tom’s fourth anniversary. Tom got stronger as he was just happy to be home. He never seemed to be mad that we took him to the vet, he was just living in this moment and making the most out of it.

We made a vow then, to never make him suffer, even if it was for his sake long term, never scare him of being left alone and just enjoy whatever time we may have together, for as long as we would have it.

This disease is forever and no matter how unfair it is that Tom had it this soon, no vet in the world could have found a way to fix it.

Fast forward to May when Tom gave us a big scare. My boyfriend found him in the litter box, unable to pee. He had a catheter in for a few days, but the problem didn’t fix. We decided to get him an urethrostomy.

We had to prepare for the worst again. The doctor gave us 50/50 chance of him recovering from the anaesthesia. But guess who was the toughest and strongest boy? Tom. He not only woke up, but recovered wonderfully, no complications, no long term sequelae.

From that day (22 May 2019) each and every day was a bliss. We got to celebrate us moving in together and the start of this chapter. Tom was happy, and more loving than ever. My boyfriend told me that he borrowed characteristics from my personality.

My boyfriend is an introvert, he keeps things in, feelings, words.. that’s how Tom was. They were exactly the same. But I am not like that, I am cheerful, I talk a lot, I am all over the place. And Tom got a little bit of me this last year.

He started to show us more love, as he would come and snuggle with us. I started talking to him and he responded to the tone in my voice by meowing back. We realised now that he only meowed when he was happy.

He never had another problem, to the point that we ‘forgot’ he had any in the first place. We just lived in the present moment with him. We just had fun and enjoyed our small family, every single day.

I strongly believe he was so strong this year, up to the point that we somehow believed the doctors were wrong and he was fine, for us. For my boyfriend and I, so we could get stronger together and have this amazing year together.

Tom was both majestic and cheeky, that’s what we would always say about him. His personality was unique and the fact that it changed a bit when I became part of their small family makes me so grateful. He was loving, he was adorable, he was the King of the home and his memory will be cherished forever.

More than yoga or other meditation practices, Tom taught me the true meaning of equanimity: calmness and composure, especially in a difficult situation. That’s what he was. He lived each day as it came, no resentments, no wish for more.

Tom claimed a part of our hearts, with his cheeky and majestic attitude and changed our lives forever.



  1. Arlene · May 27, 2020

    What a sweet boy Tom was. I too lost my boy on May 21. Tigger also had had CKD but it was likely cancer that started his physical suffering and we made the gut-wrenching decision to let him go. He was 19 and we are so broken. I too, don’t know how I will love another furybaby again. My chest literally hurts with losing our Tigger. I have to believe our kitties are forever linked to our souls, until we are reunited one day. RIP little Tom ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Francisca · May 27, 2020

      Thank you so much for your message! Tigger was such a lucky boy to be with you for so long and so were you! Rest in peace, Tigger! ❤️


  2. Marie · May 27, 2020

    What a loving tribute to a special kitty. I’m so sorry for your loss but know that your lives were bettered by Tom and his bettered by the two of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. marge luttrell · June 2, 2020

    What a beautiful requiem to Tom. He looked like a great (an old soul) kinda guy. So sorry- I just lost a 17 year old loved boy myself. Your words about Tom made me think of him. Peace.


    • Francisca · October 21, 2020

      Thank you so much for your comment. It’s been a few months now and though he’s as missed as ever, we found strength. Peace to you.


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